SNAP SHOTS

I know a guy whose book-reading wife died.  Now, he’s with a woman who watches TV 12 hours a day.  UH HUH

I knew an independent, self-employed guy who leveraged and lost half a million dollars in stock.  Now, he works for a corporation.  WELL

A friend of mine bought a late model car with a gas pedal that got stuck once, but that was months ago.  OK

I know a guy who always wanted to have a hardware store.  He has a hardware store.  When he goes to New York, he visits hardware stores.  RIGHT

A cannoli loving diabetic friend of mine died with one foot on.  I SEE

I knew a policeman, who drank vodka and beer on the weekends.  He dragged himself three miles in the desert after crashing his motorcycle.  He was never the same.  AH

I know a lad whose parents taught him to swim before he could walk.  He got a four-year scholarship to high school for swimming.  I UNDERSTAND

I know a guy who, when he was twelve, beat up his father to stop his father from beating him up.  UH HU

I know a guy who taunted a football team until they took him behind the bar and beat him to a pulp.  I SEE

I knew a conscientious teacher turned congressman, who went to Jonestown and got shot.  REALLY

I knew a guy who met a cute girl who agreed to sail to Hawaii with him.  As soon as they cleared the bar, she was sick all the way to Hawaii.  OH DEAR

I knew a woman who fell in love with a guy who promised to leave her alone.  They married, had a kid and he died.  HUMM

I knew a teacher who had three lovers.  One at home and two at school.  UH HU

I knew an abuse counselor who was advised to shot off the legs of the husbands who came after her.  HUMM

I know a guy who always loved to fix cars.  He still fixes cars, but he has ten people to help him.  WELL